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2020: lost and found

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2020: lost and found

today is the final day of 2020. it’s been… a year. a year that needs no introduction. a year that’s become the punchline of jokes and the reason why many things didn’t work out the way people had in mind. it gets a pretty bad rap, and while it’s certainly not my favorite year ever, it hasn’t been a complete waste. i’m not looking to minimize or discount some of the truly awful things that have happened this year, but i’m closing it out with some reflections and gratitude for the ways in which there was still good to be found.

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the mom i am today

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the mom i am today

acknowledging that the mom we are right now may not be the mom we were last month or last week nor are we the mom we will be in the coming days, weeks and months. but the mom we are right now is very real - no matter how long or short this "stage" may last.

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welcome baby boy bica

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welcome baby boy bica

most notably i grew and birthed a human who is now 11 weeks old. his name is connor joseph bica (to be known henceforth on this blog as yogi) and he's pretty much the cutest baby in the world. but this post isn't really about him. he will be the star of many (or few based on my current track record) posts to come; but this is my story, a (mostly) unfiltered birth story, about how he entered the world.

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there is no shame in taking medication

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there is no shame in taking medication

our lives are made up of chapters, sections, tales and passages that when pieced together write the story that is uniquely our own. some chapters end, and we gladly close them up and turn the page. others become such a part of our story that they are woven into every sentence and paragraph that follows. it shifts our story; even in the slightest of ways. one thing is certain, we are never the same as before that chapter unfolded. 

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in a word: embrace

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in a word: embrace

it took me a couple weeks into the new year to settle on a word. my mind likes to tell me there is only one right choice/response/answer/decision. the prospect of picking the wrong one is enough to paralyze me. stop me in my tracks. it invites anxiousness into the party and now it feels all consuming. it can happen to any and all choices, no matter their significance. 

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courage to continue

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courage to continue

my fancy new online home hasn't even celebrated 3 months yet and i already feel like i've failed. it still has that new website glow and i've thought about giving up. i poured my heart, soul and all my passion into this project and often i forget why. building it was full of excitement, nerves, and so many possibilities. i couldn't wait for it to launch, to share it with the world. launching felt like all kinds of accomplishment; a total #girlboss moment pressing publish. 'work on blog content' continued to be that one item on your to-do list that keeps getting bumped to the next day.